Friday, December 02, 2005

These original poems are really terrible!

There And Back Again

Saturday dawn; snow-striped lawn.
On I go. Away from you.
Now I must yawn!

Out in the city, with myself I had pity.
But time-table I got, and the sorrow was not.
This bus is so pretty!

And when I arrive, completely alive,
from a road covered with ice,
it is probably nice I survive!

Here is my place. The star's is the space.
On I go, thinking of you.
Can you lift this case?

I walk on the road, with a heavy load.
On I go. Back to you,
in a tiring mood.

[circa 1973]

City of Shadows

Our world is a dark one.
We illuminate it with hundreds of
yellow and red and blue lamps.
Nobody knows a real face
- not even his own - as it
looked in the rare, green daylight.

Our city is a bundle of
shadows and coloured lights.
Like withered flowers on a grave
rustling in a dance with the
cold wind by night.
Nobody knows the sun or the moon.

Our souls are of melting ice.
We cool it down with fluid lies.
Or struggle on with trickling truth
in head and heart, and pebbled shoes.
Nobody knows a Holy Ghost
more good than marmalade on toast.

[circa 1976]

..and, no, this has nothing to do with music! But the texts are offered as original lyrics for unwritten masterworks, if someone wants to make a fool of himself and set them to music!


Andrew Lowe-Watson said...

No! they are not terrible!

What is poetry about if is not making new and striking use of words? People wrongly look first for 'meaning' in a poem , Quite a lot of poetry has no purpose other than to suggest. to arouse our imaginations, to music 'word music' The words must dance off the page or it is not poetry.

You have got some fabulous images and totally original juxtapositioning of words. Has any one thought before you did, Maria, of puting the Holy Ghost and marmelade on toast into one sentence? I laughed when i read that.

Poetry is about giving back to words their mysterious power to invoke magic. You don't have to be a witch or a wizard to be a good poet You already are one, but the spells you create have no purpose other than to engage our attention

MaLj said...

Hmm. I hope people have realized that these "terrible" poems were written when I was a teenager? Worse is, I am not sure if I have "improved" my use of poetical language at all since then, even if I have had texts published in papers and anthologies later.

Andrew Lowe-Watson said...

Sorry. I did not mean to sound like a university lecturer. I know I have that tendency. I don't write 'in my opinion' 'for what it's worth". it seems to me'' and so on because it is obvious that they are my views, but they can sound patronising. Also, your poems have clear 'meaning'.

PS How do i edit a comment? There is a typo in the above. ''Music music'' should read ''make music''.

MaLj said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MaLj said...

I was not thinking you sounded like a lecturer. Not at all - more like a kind and symphatetic reader. Thanks!

Not sure if you can edit comments, once they have appeared. You can delete them, like I just did with my first try of posting this (click on the wastebasket icon), and write a new, but that does not make sense in a comment thread that is already replied to. I can as admin delete comments that are spam or abuse, and I can delete the rest information about a comment a user has marked for removal.
So your best option is to do as you did, write a clarification in a new comment!

(the annoying word verification is necessary to avoid auto spam, I am afraid, so you have to bear with it. The login to comments can be buggy, so if you write a long text, make sure to copy it while you write to a local file in case the comment form on the web page closes without publishing).

MaLj said...

Here is the link to the song JJ composed from one of the old poems:

There and back again